Beware the Profit Vampires

profit vampiresIn business, you have to be aware of the profit vampires. If you aren’t looking out for them, these ‘vampires’ will prey on your business and have the potential to wreck everything.

The good news is that you don’t have to remain oblivious to their misdeeds, let us help you identify the profit-sucking people that are draining the funds from your business.

Profit Vampire #1 – Petty Pilferers

It’s only a calculator for one of my kids, it’s only a bit of printing ahead of my wedding, it’s only a few hours to get my car sorted, its only… whilst this appears to be less of a problem than it has been in the past, especially with remote working and endless tracking tools available for managers, petty pilfering all adds up and it also sets a bad example for new employees. Do you know where flexibility ends and ‘pilfering’ starts?

Profit Vampire #2 – Silo Sizzlers

These vampires delight in creating and working in a tightly knit team. Heads down, it’s as though no one else in the business exists or matters as long as they are cozy in their little group. Who cares if another team needs our help, who cares if the business collapses around us as long we keep on doing what we are paid to do! Beware the silo sizzlers who operate in ignorance of wider commercial needs. Profit is impacted through disgruntled staff leaving the business, decreased collaboration and innovation and brick walls creating communication blockages

Profit Vampire #3 – Commercial Catastrophes

This vampire is a manager. The manager who agrees overtime without thinking whether work could be better organised during normal hours, who agrees for two people to make a business trip when one is sufficient, who agrees a pay rise without doing the sums first or who agrees to full time remote working because it works this year without thinking through whether it will work in 12 months’ time. They might be a great manager, doing most of their job well, but their failure to see the bigger commercial picture might be really costing.

Profit Vampire #4 – Productivity Pirates

This pirate ‘raids’ (negatively impacts) other people’s productivity. Raiding colleagues’ productivity involves sending multiple emails/texts/DMs when one will do, ignoring messages so the other person is continually forced to chase you, not being a team player even when that is needed, asking for help because you are too lazy to work it out yourself, ignoring the rules (processes and procedures) of the organisation and so creating chaos and mayhem.

Profit Vampire #5 – Sickie Swindlers

Those employees who just want a few duvet days or extra rest days after strenuous weekends or after putting in 5 minutes of overtime. How much would it cost if each member of staff in your department took two sickies a year? Before you decide its okay and not causing any harm, do the maths for your business. More modern sickie swindlers are those who hide behind remote working invisibility cloaks to say they have a headache then log off early, put their feet up to de-stress over a 3 hour lunch break or not log on until midday because they might be coming down with something.

Profit Vampire #6 – Serial Slackers

This is the vampire that causes wastage that impacts profitability as a result of work having to be repeated due to carelessness or a ‘can’t be bothered attitude’. Think about clients – or sales – lost due to customer care calls not taking place, or a member of staff not bothering to greet people who walk through the shop door. Think about the cost of responding to complaints if a job has been sloppily done, the bad PR when someone takes to social media to complain about your delivery driver or goods returned due to quality issues.

Profit Vampire #7 – Responsibility Wrigglers

This is the profit vampire that causes wastage and loss as a result of turning a blind eye to something that they don’t think is their responsibility. This is about Accountability. Somebody, everybody, anybody, nobody – just as long as it’s not ME who has to step up and take responsibility. Perhaps not reporting the dripping tap, ignoring bad behaviour, stepping over rather than moving the trip hazard, not telling their manager that Petra spends most days twiddling her thumbs due to lack of work……not my responsibility!

Profit Vampire #8 – Freebie Fritterers

This is the oh-so-generous vampire who can’t resist offering your customer just a little discount on this and that, a fee reduction because they like them, or who throws in a few freebies just to keep them on-side. All these add-ons and discounts cost serious amounts of money over the course of a year. Outside the sales team the freebie fritterers can be found in customer service, marketing, HR, management, in fact everywhere, we all like to be liked so why wouldn’t we want to give something away if it is in our power to do that and it makes everyone feel good? Oops…..because it all adds up and it impacts profit!

Profit Vampire #9 – Hapless Hesitators

This is the profit vampire who impacts profits by hesitating, not deciding, not taking action, not dealing with issues. Think about the managers who want to give someone one more chance, give the benefit of the doubt, hope that a sticky issue will just disappear into the ether….no, sticky issues have a tendency to become massive issues that cost time and money to resolve. Think also about those who keep on firefighting without ever stepping back to identify and tackle the root cause of why the same issue keeps cropping up. All this hesitation impacts not just profits, but the satisfaction and stress levels of all around.

Profit Vampire #10 – Short-Term Winners (Long-Term Sinners)

These are the vampires whose single minded focus on short-term tasks and success, seriously damage your long-term prospects – from clients, to staff, to innovation, to collaboration, to tech, to suppliers… be careful your superstar of today is not creating profit challenges for tomorrow.

What’s the solution?

You need to be courageous and slay some profit vampires! The first step is recognising the behaviours listed above are a problem, rather than overlooking them. You need to manage these people if you don’t want your profits impacted and want to achieve long-term financial gain.

How we can help

If you have any employment issues that are keeping you awake at night, pick up the phone to our friendly HR advice team for practical, commercial advice: 01425 479888 or email us.

If you need practical training for your line managers, we offer a range of courses designed to change behaviours including performance management.

The information contained within this article is for general guidance only and represents our understanding of employment and associated law and employee relations issues as at the date of publication. Jaluch Limited, or any of its directors or employees, cannot be held responsible for any action or inaction taken in reliance upon the contents. Specific advice should be sought on all individuals matters.

to top button