Want to build a more resilient team?

How our own behaviours impact our resilience

Let me share a brief analysis of a few behaviours that I recognise have impacted my own resilience at times during my career. Perhaps you will be able to relate a few of these to either yourself or someone in your team?

• Unrealistically high expectations of myself, of others or a project outcome
• Big dreams/hopes that are not grounded in the current day reality
• Striving for perfection in an imperfect world
• Taking too few breaks, leaving no time to reflect and ‘recover’ from a setback
• Giving instructions/delegating to someone who I already know (if I stopped to think) is not yet able to do what I am asking of them
• Allowing task overwhelm, which then results in nothing being completed

While these behaviours relate to me, if we are to build resilience then the starting point for each of us is to reflect and become aware of which of our own behaviours might negatively impact our resilience.

We can’t slow down the pace of change, but we can develop our resilience

Managers and leaders are seldom able to slow down the pace of change, but what we can do to support our staff is to help them understand what resilience they already have and how to develop further resilience in order to be more comfortable and able to roll with the punches, get on with each other and get on with life. Good resilience skills will also enable our employees, when the work is done, to go home and enjoy family time or ‘me’ time without a swirl of worries or work dominating their brains.

Why not kick-start building greater resilience with a training or development session?

I’ve spent a lifetime developing my own resilience and would love to share some of the knowledge, tools, and techniques I have picked up. There is a little bit of theory to share too! Please give me a call to discuss a few ideas and options for training and personal development if this is of interest.

How to build resilience in our teams

Here are 6 ideas for building resilience that you might use in a team meeting (not all at once though, just one at a time).

• Create a quiet space of 5-10 minutes. Ask each member of your team to identify one thing that has been difficult for them at work in recent months or years (they do not have to share this with others). Ask them to quietly reflect on how they handled the difficulty and what skills strengthened or emerged as a result. This is about them acknowledging to themselves what they can already do and how strong they already are.

Tip: Don’t let anyone retreat into defeat when doing this activity, even just turning up to work the next day after a tough one the day before is us building resilience.

• Leave the building and take your team outside for a walk. What I’d like you to share with them is the concept that regular, rhythmic movement of our bodies (eg walking or cycling) sends signals to our brain that we are calm and safe. You might even ask one member of your team to research it. Ask how they feel if they go out for a walk when life feels too much, can any of them share their experiences of how this motion relaxes them?

Tip: Take 15 minutes to encourage them to all think about their general mindset. For this, they are just reflecting on their own and no real need to share unless someone wants to. What, if anything, is holding them back? What’s clogging their brain? Do they have unrealistic expectations of others, themselves or even the world in general? Once we become aware of how we think, then we have a choice as to whether we want to change or address that. Not everyone will want to, of course!

• Display some emojis or masks if you can find them and ask your team to each pick one that represents the ‘face’ they bring into work. This is about getting them to think about the ‘mask’ they wear. Not everyone wears a mask, of course, but many of us do, often to hide our feelings or vulnerabilities. Ask them who feels that they bring their real self to work vs who feels a need to continually wear a mask.

Tip: Be prepared for those who say they have to wear a mask (eg in customer service, sales, management etc). It’s okay for us to wear a mask when we need to, just as long as it doesn’t permanently prevent us from showing up authentically at work.

• Take 10 minutes to discuss how we need to allow ourselves time to bounce back from something that hasn’t gone how we would like. We are all human and can’t bounce back in a nano second. Ask them to share examples of how long it has taken them after a difficulty to get back up. Some may take a few hours, others may have taken weeks or even months after a serious set back.

Tip: There are no right or wrong answers, but explore ideas around how a good night’s sleep, or a few hours with friends, or even getting absorbed in a hobby can all help us be resilient – as long as the hobby doesn’t become a place to hide of course! What does your team do to wind down, and do they make time for that often enough?

• For this final session, create a 10-minute opportunity to talk about any behaviours we recognise that might escalate or perpetuate a feeling of frustration, conflict or unhappiness and what ideas we might share to reduce those behaviours.

Tip: We can allow ourselves to be angry at something, but there is danger if we allow anger to fester. 5 minutes for a daily upset or frustration, and it’s time to let it go and move on. Who struggles to let go even though they know that makes them unhappy?

How managers can support individuals who are struggling

Having considered ways in which we might develop an understanding of resilience in our teams, I thought it might be helpful to share a few tips on how a manager might support a team member:

1. If talking is their pressure valve, let them talk it out. Be fully present when listening, put your phone down, stop what you are doing so you can focus on them and generally use your body language to let them know you are paying attention and not judging.
2. Don’t try to problem solve for them. Your presence is often enough. Your initial role is to support, not rescue.
3. Practice feeling comfortable in the face of someone else’s discomfort. If people’s emotions make you feel awkward, remind yourself that this is about them, not you. If they cry, give them a tissue or, if you have that kind of relationship, offer them a hug. Often that is all that is needed.
4. Similar to #2, ask them what support they’d like/value from you now, later, or even tomorrow. Be led by what they ask for, not what you feel a need to do
5. Remember that resilience isn’t like instant gravy or instant noodles, don’t make anyone feel as though they’ve got two minutes to get themselves together. People often can’t bounce back immediately, so don’t expect it.
6. Look out for signs that someone is not bouncing back. Are they stuck in their emotions or resisting change? Perhaps you need to signpost them to someone who can better support? Be careful not to be drawn into absorbing their energy, we can all do that for a short while, but it’s not our job to be an endless sponge for others.

A perfect pairing with resilience training?

Adaptability – learning to be more adaptable

3 hours on resilience followed by 3 hours on adaptability. Or for sessions that give proper time for people to discuss and explore these concepts, 6 hours for each topic.

Or why not offer out a complete 2026 ‘thrive not survive’ package for your staff?

8 half or full days

• Mental resilience for bounce-back ability
• Adaptability and comfort with discomfort
• Personal accountability and responsibility
• Emotional and social intelligence
• Exploring The connection between mental and physical wellbeing
• Independent/critical thinking for better problem solving
• Building confidence to achieve contentment

If you’d like to discuss your training needs, get in touch!

Questions, thoughts, opinions? Let us know in the comments below… or if you’d like to speak to me directly, send me a message.